Girls Cash Cars

Flo-Rida ft. Lil Wayne - American Superstar

2008-02-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

Flo-Rida ft. Lil Wayne - American Superstar

Another in a long line of Cash Money/Poe Boy collabos. Remember where you downloaded it first!

T.I. - Hurt ft. Alphamega & Busta Rhymes

2007-06-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

T.I. - Hurt ft. Alphamega & Busta Rhymes

Best Busta verse in a long time, easily the best track on the T.I. album. The stupid T.I. vs. T.I.P. gimmick doesn't get in the way here, thank Christ.

T.I. - Watch What You Say ft. Jay-Z

2007-06-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

Did Jay-Z just initiate a war of words between the best doing it and the best alive?

T.I. - Watch What You Say ft. Jay-Z

Nothing would make this summer listening season more interesting than a Jay/Wayne beef. Peace to OMNI for the MP3.

B.G. - Hustle ft. Young Jeezy

2007-06-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

B.G. has a new single out featuring your favorite blogger's favorite pretend hustler Jeezy the Snowman.

B.G. - Hustle ft. Young Jeezy

Does anyone know what the fuck label dude is on now? New album is coming out this summer.

Great interview here with Jim Jones about the infighting with Cam'ron, Stack Bundles' death, and the quote, "One hand washes the other and both hands wash the face, ya dig?"

Video of the year is out:

Best punchline in a video since Trapped In The Closet series for real.

Shit yourself thin with Alli

2007-06-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

GlaxoSmithKline just put out an OTC version of their previously-prescription only diet pill Alli. Shit is flying off the stores shelves and right into motherfucker's drawls.

She may look pleased with her weight loss but she has shit her pants while sitting on a white chair.

From the treatment side effects page:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

This stuff sells for $59.99 for a one month supply which is a great price when you consider how much you'd have to spend on Mexican food to get the same effect over a month.

GSK expects $1.5B in sales in the first year. Balling!

We on fire, the black Red Hot Chili Peppers

2007-06-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

One common theme you'll notice throughout this (every?) blog with rap music is Lil Wayne. This blog is no different, as Wayne is best alive and anyone who think otherwise because they're too disenfranchised can suck a fat one for real!

Take some time today to pray at the Alter of Weezy (no homo (not Baby's penis)) and download this Shop Boyz remix:

Shop Boyz - Party Like A Rockstar Remix ft. Lil Wayne, Jim Jones, and Chamillionaire

It goes without saying that Cham kills it on this too. Jimmy is passable, skull gang.

"I'm heartless and iced out, see // I got an icebox where, my heart, used to be, heh"

Totally du!

50 Cent - a man about a dollar

2007-05-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

50 Cent has always appeared to have something shoved up his ass, making him angry and determined as fuck. Turns out it is a golden horseshoe and it is much bigger than expected!

Fifty is apparently a 10% stakeholder in Energy Brands Inc., a beverage company based in 50 Cent's hometown of Queens, New York. This partial ownership was a direct result of his work endorsing the company's flagship brand, vitaminwater, even lending his own name to the brand's "Formula 50" supplement drink. Some would point out that a former drug dealer and hilarious misogynist is a terrible spokesman for vitaminwater, but if you have read 50 Cent's book "From Pieces to Weight" (I have read this, seriously), you'd know his songs about blowing mad 'dro and chugging Cris are bullshit. Guy is basically straight-edge, spends all of his time working out and eating right and getting money.

Dude is incredible. A wild, genuine asshole of a human being who always ends up on top. He can now add "More Money Than God" to his resume; Coca-Cola has bought out Energy Brands Inc. for $4.1 billion. A jaw-dropping figure, given that it's equal to more than 11 times the company's 2006 sales. 50 stands to make $400+ gross off the sale of the company.

Say what you want about duke, but he is the American Dream. His music might be shit these days but you have to hand it to him. He is up to a Diddy or Jay level of wealth now, if not well above them.

Curtis.

DJ Khaled - Brown Paper Bag

2007-05-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

DJ Khaled - Brown Paper Bag ft. Young Jeezy, Juelz Santana, Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, Fat Joe

Could these guys please just record a full album already? Lil Wayne's verse is disgusting, the Herschel Walker line is a laugh and a half, best doing it for real.

Beat is a really nice change of pace from the all the monster synth from, uh, everyone. Don't get me wrong I'm all about the synth like Robert Moog but at times I enjoy a good sample as well, smell me?

If you are reading this and write a similarly themed blog, let's trade links. Get at me.

Elephant Man - Five-O ft. Wyclef Jean & Swizz Beats (Remix)

2007-05-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

Stole this from The Fader:

Elephant Man - Five-O ft. Wyclef Jean & Swizz Beats (Remix)

Didn't know Elephant Man was on Bad Boy! Find this sort of hilarious because it's a completely incongruent fit! Not the greatest Elephant Man song in terms of lyrical hilarity or beat quality (peace to completely-average-in-every-way Swizz Beats production on this remix). Matter-of-fact "You don't know Elephant's on Bad Boy?" at the start made me chuckle because who would know this? Who is keeping up with this?

Best of luck in this new arrangement but I'm not holding my breath for this to launch Ele to the next level. "Search the car, only thing them going find is my just CD stock." Word because there will not be any money in there dogg you have made a poor label choice!

R. Kelly is fucking crazy

2007-05-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

So it finally leaked, and Double Up can be had for only $10 right now from Amazon.com. R. Kelly is a god damn genius, this is the most summertime smiletime album.

The weirdest song is "Sex Planet" but the funniest and therefore best song is "The Zoo". You cannot go without downloading it for real. Bizarre shit. Jurassic Park line made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

The V. Tech song is so out of place yet fits perfectly in a way I can't begin to explain. This album is everything you hoped it would be. A five-star must-buy.

Jeezy the Snowman, USDA the clique

2007-05-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

Downloaded this mixtape/album yesterday (peace to OMNI), felt pretty good about it for the first few songs until the beats got so shitty I started listening to Onyx on repeat instead!

Good on Young Jeezy for still hanging out with these bums I guess but man Slick Pulla and Guy Who Looks Like (Even More) Broke Freeway are not holding up their end of the bargain if you ask me. Jeezy survives almost entirely on swagger and these cats are sorely lacking.

My internet friends hate that Jeezy is too rappy on this and I disagree mostly. But when he starts trying to spit too fast (Corporate Thuggin'), it's like, ugh, fuck, dogg just do you just yell YEEEAH and make a basic slow metaphor for cocaine please!

My favorite track is White Girl for obvious reasons, namely the Jeezy chorus. Literally only Jeezy can make a hook this hot. Best shit. Second favorite track is Check because the beat is an absolute monster, among my favorite '07 bangers, produced by whatever TA is. Great material.

Diamond Shreddies (a Canadian thing)

2007-05-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, going to lose quite a few of you here but Shreddies is a pretty average, gross, healthy English cereal (a shredded wheat square, extremely basic) that is also in Canada and New Zealand and other colonies.

Obviously pretty tough to make a thing like this interesting in any way, but this new advertising campaign they have is hilarious. They're advertising new "Diamond Shreddies", and I've had multiple people mention this campaign to me like "what the fuck".

Hilarious. I think the last time I actively thought about the Shreddies brand prior to this was as a child when they had two cartoon Shreddies singing "Good, good, wholewheat Shreddies!"

Hella kudos, anonymous marketing firm! Peace to MoPo for the pics.

CURTIS! Cam's back at it

2007-05-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

Hilarious new videos from OnSmash.com, first one is Cam'ron apparently giving a video response to 50 Cent calling him out today, while he's on fuckin' vacation, B. Beef travels fast.

Second is even funnier maybe, it's only seven seconds and a must-watch.

Best beef in rap, for real.

Zoomzip is the future

2007-05-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

Maybe that's a little premature but this zoomzip cat over at the Something Awful forums is killing it softly, and this month as he's dishing out 10 remixes in 30 days. I've found his remixes to be schizophrenic, imposing, and pretty listenable at times. Fuck, I hate to compare him to Diplo because that is such god damn lame Internet Music Writing 101 shit, but it's pretty accurate, his stuff has a weird electro baile funk vibe that makes me want to nod my head in an angry fashion while driving.

Here's a couple of my favorites:

Dude's got close to 1000 listeners on last.fm already thanks for the SA goon squad. Ill shit, keep it up.

Pastor Troy is Saddam Hussein

2007-05-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

Rapper Pastor Troy has been forced by his label SMC Recordings to rename his upcoming album Saddam Hussein to the more innocuous (retarded) Tool Muziq.

A press release on dude's MySpace page explains that controversy from "three major retail chains" (read: Wal-Mart) caused the name dispute, and he has nothing but love for America's troops.

In other news Pastor Troy has like 200 MySpace friends and #1 is Tom.

I really want Pastor Troy to blow up in a big way. One of my favorite high school almost-dying memories is when my friend Alex would go three times the speed limit with me in the passenger seat minutes before class in his raggedy ass Chevy truck, with "Vice Versa" cranked through a shitty Pioneer MP3 deck. He had some pretty average sub woofers installed under the seats that made everything rattle like hell. Combined with the tires skidding on the icy roads and traffic horns this was the funniest, best way to get to class at age 16. I would be so fucking embarrassed to die while listening to Pastor Troy though, for real.

Buy his album doggs, Shawty Red is doing production on it!

MTV's Kristin Cavallari in LASIK surgery reality ad

2007-05-14T20:14:00.000-07:00

This is probably the first time I have seen a celebrity in a documentary style episodic advertisement that is effective in any way. Pretty ill:

Reality Lasik featuring Kristin Cavallari

For those of you who don't follow the MTV thing, Kristin is a hot young socialite with a "get money" attitude and a "got money" budget. She was edited into the villain role opposite Lauren Conrad on Laguna Beach where we all enjoyed clips of her bouncing around in bikinis and dancing on bars showing off her assets, and I don't mean her royalty money, smell me?

This site is hilarious, the design is bitten from MTV.com and similar pseudo-pomo hipster fare. Each episode is streamed with a single click and the navigation is seamless.

My personal favorite part is Kristin's blog. Sweet Jesus this is incredible marketing. Look at the May 8th entry (my emphasis in bold):

Passing My Exam
May 8, 2007
So I've heard the term LASIK for a long time and you think you kinda know what it is and what it's all about – but after today, I found out that I really didn't know anything. I saw the eye doctor today and had a bunch of tests to see if I'm a candidate for LASIK, I was completely shocked that so much was involved. It was a little bit exhausting, but when I was done it was kinda reassuring to see how serious it all was because, after all, these are my eyes, right? They took a lot of measurements that I can't really explain [good thing we're capturing everything on video], and I talked with an assistant, then an optometrist and then I finally met the surgeon. He's cool and funny and I totally trust him. Finding a good LASIK surgeon is super important. Well I'm on the road to having LASIK so there's no turning back now.

Whoever came up with this is a god damn genius, and I can't wait to see how the entire series turns out. No turning back now!